- - - Make Yourself at Home - - -
This is where paradox, allegories, dreams, rock music, cat naps, and other tangential things unite.
feel free to take a look around...
= Who Am I? =
i am a living paradox... an irony in disguise. a contradiction who hides behind a permanent mask..destiny is there so that we can change it by the choices that we make and the chances we take. we live to alter our so-called fate by trying to untie the knots that life has created. i am trying to make sense of my so-called existence in this dreary world and doing my best to live with humanity. my life is a vicious cycle as much as i'd hate to admit it. that is why i try to defy reality to change some things about life. i am a cynic, a dreamer, a realist and a pessimist all in one. how do i deal with it? i myself do not know the answer. i am contemplating now more than ever. thinking of what is to become of me. and what the future holds..
interests: music---> mostly rock but i can go from classical to metal.. from punk to emo... from techno/electronica/trance to indie rock..from j-rock/pop to latino music.. also some selective maintstream. NO NOVELTY SONGS PLEASE. ~my two favorite genres are rock and classical~ reading, contemplating, writing.... annoying the hell out of people by teasing them ... conversing with people .... taking long walks alone and observing people, having misadventures, playing the piano(i used to)....
AND sleeping more than 10 hours a day (i'm still a kitty you know) :P
~
disclaimer: this entry will most probably be EMO, incoherent, and dramatic. so just read at your own risk...~
DEPRESSION. this is a feeling that i know all to well. it has been an unwelcomed friend to accompany me in this timely occassion. i suppose that it is normal for me to be feeling this way. alas, i am drowning in such sweet sorrow, misery and torment. into a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions that have barely left an ounce of optimism in me. i admire those people who look on the brighter side. for i myself seldom do that, especially when it matters.
it's as if reality had slapped me in a very astounding manner. this is the first time that i cried so hard in FOUR YEARS. i was always able to control myself. i was always able to stop the tears from falling. but i guess, all those anguish, all those things that escaped from the past had finally caught up with me. i just couldn't help myself because i then knew that my hopes have just disappeared in a blink of an eye. up until now my mind is still plagued with the question:
"could i have been something more?". i guess we all know the obvious answer.
and now as i am sinking into an endless abyss of my own mediocrity and failure, i am just sorry if i'm such a disappointment to you.
Kitty KatKat posted @ 8:31 AM
