- - - Make Yourself at Home - - -
This is where paradox, allegories, dreams, rock music, cat naps, and other tangential things unite.
feel free to take a look around...
= Who Am I? =
i am a living paradox... an irony in disguise. a contradiction who hides behind a permanent mask..destiny is there so that we can change it by the choices that we make and the chances we take. we live to alter our so-called fate by trying to untie the knots that life has created. i am trying to make sense of my so-called existence in this dreary world and doing my best to live with humanity. my life is a vicious cycle as much as i'd hate to admit it. that is why i try to defy reality to change some things about life. i am a cynic, a dreamer, a realist and a pessimist all in one. how do i deal with it? i myself do not know the answer. i am contemplating now more than ever. thinking of what is to become of me. and what the future holds..
interests: music---> mostly rock but i can go from classical to metal.. from punk to emo... from techno/electronica/trance to indie rock..from j-rock/pop to latino music.. also some selective maintstream. NO NOVELTY SONGS PLEASE. ~my two favorite genres are rock and classical~ reading, contemplating, writing.... annoying the hell out of people by teasing them ... conversing with people .... taking long walks alone and observing people, having misadventures, playing the piano(i used to)....
AND sleeping more than 10 hours a day (i'm still a kitty you know) :P
it's funny how i tend to really complicate things. i ignore what's already there just to be in search of something that may or may not exist. heck, i don't even know what i'm looking for. i don't know what i really want. i envy those people who have such distinct characteristics and traits. when people ask me what field i'm good at, i usually answer "i don't know" or something vague. this often leads to my frustration and grief thinking of who i really am.
right now, i am tired of people who are so judgemental and really critical of others. i am tired of those people who think that they are so high and up there, forgetting that they are still only human and can easily fall down the hard way. they say that the traits that you usually hate also best describes who you are... maybe the ones that i mentioned describes who i am.. then again, maybe not....
siguro nga ako ay isang makasariling nilalang na iniisip lamang ang kanyang sarili. isa akong plastic na tao na hindi kayang ipakita sa lahat ng tao ang kanyang tunay na nararamdaman at iniisip. isa akong tao na walang isang salita na kung saan laging nagbabago ang isip ko. isa akong mahina na tao na natatakot na makasakit ng tao kahit na sa kabilang dako eh sila na rin ang mali. minsan parang ako ay isang anino lang na madaling makakalimutan ng mga tao. isang kathang isip na madaling burahin sa mundong ito. takot akong makaramdaman ng sakit at pighati na pupukaw sa aking damdamin at emosyon na pilit kong kinokontrol. minsan gusto ko nalang umiyak ng umiyak para lang malabas na ang lahat. pero duwag ako. ayoko na makita nila ang kahinaan ko. pinipilit kong maging malakas pero minsan parang hindi ko na kaya at umaabot sa mga pagkakataon na kinasusuklaman ko na ang sarili ko dahil sa kahinaan ko. hindi ko matanggap na ganito na nga lang ba talaga ako.
enough now... enough.
Kitty KatKat posted @ 8:51 PM